5 Steps to Recovery after closing a small business

There are certain clubs in life I always dreamed of being part of. Clubs like being married, having kids, going to college, and good health, are all clubs I welcomed with open arms while I’m still waiting to be part of the weekly housecleaner, yearly European Vacations, pool in the backyard, owning a beach house clubs. Other clubs have presented themselves to me in unbelievable ways like owning a business, being a stay-at-home mom, being a creative, and there are clubs that I don’t want to utter aloud because they are my worst nightmares manifested. Some clubs have become part of life in ways I never processed before, clubs maybe you can relate to like living on a tight budget, closing a business, losing a parent, seasons of house and car drama, and filing for bankruptcy, other clubs that hit heavy and take your breath away. And I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.

Here are a few things I am learning as my new normal to help cope with the unexpected and rebuilding happening in my heart and head from being part of several not-so-cool clubs this season.

1. Know that it’s okay not to be okay. I’ve realized more and more that people relate to us the most when we are real and authentic. Each of our stories matters. Each of our seasons helps us build and grow and prepare us for the next chapter unfolding. Living in the mess can be okay; just let others know it’s messy.

2. Resting is healing. This is coming from a woman who worked 60–70-hour work weeks for months and months on end. I’ve taken more naps in the past month than the past two years combined. I apologized to my family the first time it happened like I had missed some major event while curled up on the couch.  Giving our minds time to settle allows us to awaken refreshed a bit more.

3. Once you’ve begun the process of healing, permit yourself to avoid the things that can emotionally set you back. Whether that’s avoiding social media, attending a certain event, hanging around someone who drains you, watching less tv, try to keep your mind focused on things that heal and not hurt.

4. Step outside daily. I remember working months on end and my body never felt the sunshine between 7a and 7p. I could see the sunshine or rain fall from my shop windows but lived a life completely deficient in vitamin D. I recently talked to friends about grounding mats, the concept of recentering our bodies with the earth. It felt foreign at first, but we immediately discussed how we fail to be barefoot in the grass or sit in the sunshine most days. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book in the sun, sitting on the porch and listening to the rainfall, find a few moments a day to take a deep breath outside and listen to how loud the silence can be.

5. Remember your passions. I sat with friends recently who asked me what’s next. As I am still starting to begin that season, I am still working through the scars of impostor syndrome I have come from this past season of life. I told them that I had forgotten what my value is because I have looked more at how I have failed than how I fully lived. If you own a retail business, you know how easily your passion gets lost in daily survival. What started as a “fun hobby” or concept can quickly take over your life and make you bitter and sad in ways you never knew were possible. Maybe it’s just me, but I doubt it. This market is currently not too kind to so many businesses. But we were made to be dreamers. We were created by an artist who saw His work and said, “it is good” not once, but over and over as each creation was formed. So, once your membership in the wilderness club begins, remember what it is you love and lean into those gifts. If it’s painting, then pick up a brush. If it’s writing, pull out the pen. If it’s dog grooming, have one you can practice on. If it’s cooking, dust off the skillet. If it’s gardening, I have a yard you can use. This doesn’t have to be your next career move, but, you will walk into your next path as a much healthier adult when you can be reminded of your passions and where you are gifted.

A friend recently asked me what I was up to these days, and I said just think about what my life has looked like the past seven years and it’s the total opposite. I’m not running a race quite so fast. There are stressors and things I have to figure out about my next move, but I don’t wake up with a shallow breath in fear of how I will have enough time, energy, money, and strength, to get through every day. Things that once brought so much joy like planning a Christmas menu in August or preparing for seasonal holiday events sound like an impossible task. I’m thankful I just have my home to decorate and my own family to bake for if I bake at all. True story, I had to borrow baking powder from a neighbor this week because I’m so out of touch with the everyday essentials that were my life previously, and I’m completely okay with that.

I guarantee your people have missed you if you have been caught up with chasing things so hard like I was. Let this be the season to be loved on instead of pouring out everything you have daily. Stay on the phone a bit longer with those you love. Let the lunch plans linger closer to dinner if needed. Focus on one conversation at a time instead of the million rapid-fire thoughts and questions that were once presented during a daily work battlefield. If you are struggling to regain an identity or purpose, find help.

I don’t feel like I have a lot to offer these days, compared to when I had a case full of freshly baked goodies and tables full of treasures, but I have a fridge full of fresh food I will actually cook before it expires, my boys under one roof who I get to be with when they leave in the morning and come home, a chunky dog that clings to my every move that I make, and a great Father who loves me so. Being part of this current club might not be so bad after all.